I've just switched over to an "off" week, when my perfectly fabulous and completely exhausting (at times) children go to their dad's house. As custody arrangements go -- this one is not so terrible. They have equal time with both of us. I get time to myself to work on projects around the house and go in early or stay late at work as needed.
But I hate the first night they are gone. I hate how quiet the house is. I hate not getting to snuggle them to sleep, or sing their songs, or listen to those bedtime tales about their days. My heart aches, my arms ache, and I regret every cross word I spoke in the last week. I know I can't change the past, and that controlling the future is really more a general guidance than absolute control - but on these nights when I switch to an "off"' week - it's hard to not wish things were different.
But I can't go back - I can only go forward, and must do so knowing that sometimes it's just going to feel "off."
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Related:
This write-up has informed a large part of the separation and agreements about the life we want for the kids: http://www.divorcehq.com/billrights.shtml
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