Die February, Die

There is still one more day to go in this supposedly short month. It can't end fast enough. I don't usually hate February, but I hated this one and I sit here mentally cursing the fact that it's a Leap Year. Like February is rubbing it in my face "Haha Marje! F* you! There's still a day left in this craptacular month!"

Ah... it's not like the whole month sucked. There were moments of subliminal wonder... just sprinkled like diamonds in a minefield. Those are moments I will never forget - simple things like kids carrying baskets of clean clothes and putting them away without help, an unexpectedly warm Thursday night, an amazing meal with someone I enjoy, a new school for my daughter, and child care that is flexible enough to allow that.

But for all of those beautiful moments, the hard things that also happened make me long for a quieter March, and some weeks of calm waters. I feel myself drawing inward, making a cocoon of mental space around my head and heart, seeking that calm, seeking that place of peacefulness. I don't know who I will be when I emerge from the introspection - I just know I need it now.