Facts of Life and Death

Cast list:
- Yard bunny
- Cat 1
- Cat 2
- Puppy
- Daughter

Setting:  A suburban yard that boasts dandlions, trees, a picnic table, and a child-designed hammock swing.

Bunny:  "Hey look at that, some new dandelion leaves. Those babies are the best!"
(Bunny hops out of rabbit hole, and begins chomping on dandelion)

Cat 1: "Hey, look at that, a new bunny!  Those babies are the best!"
Cat 2: "Hey, back off! I saw that bunny first!"
(Cat 2 and Cat 1 gang up on yard bunny, preventing escape back to rabbit hole)

Bunny:  Oh SHIT! Oh SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!

Puppy: Oh hey guys! Can I play? Yes! I love this game. I love this game I love this game! Chase is the best!
(Puppy starts chasing cats.)

Cats: Ugh. That puppy. She ruins everything.
(Cats stop chasing, pretend that all along, they were sitting by the picnic table, grooming themselves.  Bunny stops running from cats.)

Puppy:  CHOMP!  (muffled) Hey, cats, I got dis fing you chased. I won? Did I win?

Daughter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! No! No puppy!! We don't chomp bunnies!!!!